I received an email today that contained some research around self-esteem from childhood to old age.
As self-esteem often crops up with clients I thought I’d give it a read.
I’m no academic by any stretch of the imagination and I wouldn’t judge anyone for their opinions but it was pretty grim reading.
I decided to post my own take on self-esteem so here goes . . . . .
Self-esteem is how we feel about our self . . . . . I am worthy . . . . . I am competent or . . . . . I am ok!
Our self esteem starts off really good,
off the scale literally in early childhood,
we don’t compare ourselves to others,
we don’t give our self a hard time if we can’t do something,
we just give it another go . . . . . no critical thinking . . . . . no judgement!
(Dance like nobody is watching kind of thing),
BUT . . . . . as we grow and develop all that begins to change and our self-esteem starts to fall.
Adolescence through to midlife is a bit of a downer by all accounts, and then it peaks again in our late 60’s
(Well that’s something to look forward to at least)!
The research said ‘Children have high self-esteem because their self-views are unrealistically positive’.
Another way of looking at this is that we are born ok but then stuff happens, life events, relationships, stress, work and living life.
We forget that we are ok . . . . . the ‘ok-ness’ doesn’t go anywhere, we don’t lose it, we might forget we have it sometimes but it’s still there.
I want to have ‘unrealistically positive’ self-views because if we have that, imagine what we could achieve. I want to aim to ‘create the impossible’ because the possible will be easy to create then.
I get why our self-esteem peaks in early childhood and in our late 60’s because in early childhood we don’t think about what life has in store and in later life we already know!
I’m going to keep being curious and not judgemental and remember my ok-ness.