“What is self-love?” you might ask. “A developing capacity to be truthful and sympathetic to yourself,” I would say. This gift may be shared with the world only when you are filled with love for who you are.”
Self-discovery and self-acceptance is often needed to be authentic to yourself. While acknowledging your flaws, you use your unique strengths to achieve a better future.
Marriage vows frequently include the well-known phrase, “I take you to be my wife/husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and health: from this day forward.” Because of this, this promise takes into consideration the fact that life is a voyage filled with a variety of emotions. When you love yourself you can commit to yourselves that you will not give up even when things become tough.
You cultivate a happy, meaningful, and rewarding connection with yourself. When you love yourself, you don’t get a flawless existence, endless bliss, or the creation of an admirable human figure (if only). When it comes to self-love, the capacity to feel compassion for yourself, no matter what happens in your life is what counts.
When everything seems to be going downhill, how can you access your deepest feelings of compassion and love? Taking care of your basic needs, such as getting enough sleep, food, and exercise, is an important element of self-care. Having a massage, lighting candles, or taking a bubble bath are basic examples of self-love. Self-love, on the other hand, is a far more expansive concept.
When you behave out of fear, because you think you “should,” or because you want to exert control, your ‘wounded’ self takes over. Rather than self-love, this form of action is more a matter of self-preservation. Stopping, taking a deep conscious breath, and moving beyond the habitual response is a self-love practice. To reconnect with your true self, beyond our scars and automatic reactions.
Self-love is the capacity to listen to your intuition, follow your inner wisdom and communicate your real sentiments. Self-love is a constant awareness of your own inner knowledge and the freedom to respond to it. It’s about saying “no” to the things that make you unhappy and “yes” to the things that make you happy and fulfilled.
It’s important to practice self-love by putting your attention and energy into activities that make you feel good about yourself, awaken your senses, and enable life to flow through your body. Your body and senses are reconnected when you practice self-love. Compassionate self-awareness is the ability to recognise and respond to your own emotional and physical needs, as well as the needs of your body, mind, and spirit.
So what is the difference between selfishness and self-love?
I’ve found that drawing a connection between caring for yourself from a kid’s perspective and caring for yourself from the perspective of a loving and supporting parent has helped me to explain this many times. I’ve pointed out a few frequent blunders I’ve made as a parent as examples with clients. As a starting point, I want you to imagine an ideal parent model, one who is a psychologically aware, mature, and loving human who can provide a kid with unconditional love and good limits.
In this example, selfishness is like a child’s attempt at getting his or her wants. It is common for a child’s level of understanding to be under developed, resulting in confusion between what they want and what is best for them. As an example, they may want to consume the equivalent of half their body weight in ice cream. If that were the case, it would just meet their want’s, but not their health and well-being. Another example would be a child of five or six years old who steals a friend’s toy but then refuses to return it because they have become attached to it. In the short term, the child may get what they want, but if they keep acting this way, they risks losing friends. It’s meeting their need at the time but at the costs of others feelings.
Nurturing parents who are aware of their children’s needs have to say no to their children from time to time in order to protect them from physical or mental health. As adults we need to do that for ourselves too.
A child’s developmental needs, healthy boundaries. It might also include an explanation so that the child can understand and feel safe and secure. If a parent had to discipline a child for misbehaviour, hopefully they would make it clear that the behaviour is “wrong” and not the child. So that the child knows his or her parents’ love will always be there and that getting things wrong is OK, this is how we learn, consequences if given are followed by forgiveness. On the other hand, making mistakes does not characterise anybody as flawed; rather, shows us areas where we still have work to do.
Learning the differences between what you want, what you need, what is good for you, self loving and caring and what is selfish is an onging thing.
Balanced parenting helps to support a child’s sense of self-worth. It creates a loving atmosphere where the child is free to grow as an individual, gradually gaining an understanding of their own needs, the needs of others, and how these two sets of needs come together.
One thing can be said for little ones however and that is they always want to get their needs met, we can in a way learn from this, as adults we tend to ignore those things we feel we need. It’s just how we go about getting our needs fulfilled carefully and with kindness.
It’s OK to want something for yourself without that hurting someone, you are not being selfish or neglecting others when you give yourself the care and love you need.
You are not hurting others, it’s important that you accept that self love and care is showing kindness to all.
Selfishness is that wanting that takes away from others so that we can have.
This is very different to self love and care so please do not think you are being selfish by needing and giving yourself time, love and care.
Self-care ideas to do
Whether you’re at home or on the road, there are various methods to take care of yourself. I’ve compiled a list of ten below. If you want to have a successful week, try implementing three of the tips from this list each day. Take a moment to think about how it impacts your interactions with others. You may be surprised to learn that taking care of yourself and allowing yourself to be pampered really allows you to serve others by being YOU. It’s also likely that it may broaden your thinking and open up new horizons for your travels.
Ideas for Self-Care:
Make your thoughts known. Share your successes and failures with someone you can rely on. When you talk about your feelings, you have the power to alter them.
Allow yourself some time to have fun. Any action that lifts your spirits is considered a kind of play. You not only need it, but you also deserve it to maintain a healthy state of mind.
Avoid putting yourself in a position where you feel inferior to others. This kind of thinking can lead to negativity. Do not compare yourself to others. If you appreciate a person, use them as a guide to help you grow.
Learn to say “no” more often. Your self-esteem will rise as you can say “no” more confidently. You’ll feel great and energised as a result of your decision to say yes to others.
Exercise. Take a stroll outside. Take a ride on a bicycle. The stairs are the best way to go to your destination. You don’t have to spend a fortune on a gym to work out. When you’re feeling down, nothing beats doing some exercise to lift your spirits.
Remember that you are only a human being doing your best. Don’t allow people to elevate you to a position of prominence. When this occurs, individuals have high expectations of you and become dissatisfied when you fall short of their expectations.
Don’t take life too seriously laugh at yourself and everything else, too. Give it a go! In terms of cost and efficacy, it is the best treatment for life.
Become a person who encourages and inspires others. Look for someone you can do something nice for today, show some gratitude. This will not only make you feel great, but it will also boost your self-confidence a notch or two.
Make time for yourself by taking up a new interest. Be creative, connect with your inner child, be curious not critical. It’s ok to get it wrong it’s a learning curve.
Make time for your spirituality. Slow down a little. Sit still for a while. Allow yourself to be aware of your thoughts, but don’t dwell on them. Keep your cool. Don’t be afraid to pursue your own spiritual path.
Taking care of yourself gives you a sense of strength. As soon as you incorporate any kind of healthy habit into your daily routine, you’re taking control of your own destiny. If you don’t realise the importance of your own needs, who will?