While the familiar might feel safe, it can keep us stuck in situations that don’t fulfill us or allow us to grow. By challenging ourselves to face the unfamiliar, we open the door to new possibilities and perhaps, an undiscovered heaven.
Humans are creatures of habit. We find comfort in the familiar, even if it’s not ideal. This tendency can manifest in our reluctance to change, even when that change might lead to a better situation. The saying that “our brain will always choose a familiar hell over an unfamiliar heaven” perfectly captures this phenomenon.
Why Do We Cling to the Familiar?
Fear of the Unknown: We often fear what we don’t know. An unfamiliar path might lead to a better place, but it’s uncharted territory. The uncertainty involved can be paralysing, making us choose what’s known and predictable.
Comfort in Routine: Humans find solace in routines. They give structure to our lives and make us feel in control. Deviating from routine, even if it’s detrimental, can feel more threatening than sticking with the status quo.
Psychological Inertia: This is a mental resistance to change. Once we’re set on a path, it takes substantial effort to change direction. This inertia keeps us locked in place, even when we know that change might be beneficial.
Examples in Real Life
Staying in a Bad Relationship: Many people stay in unhealthy relationships because they fear being alone or think that they won’t find someone better. The familiar pain feels safer than the unknown joy.
Unfulfilling Careers: People often stick with jobs they dislike because they fear the uncertainty of a new career path. They may choose the familiarity of an unfulfilling job over the risk of pursuing a passion.
How to Overcome This Tendency
Recognise the Pattern: The first step in breaking this cycle is to recognise when you’re clinging to familiarity out of fear rather than genuine satisfaction.
Assess the Risks and Rewards: Evaluate the potential outcomes of making a change. What are the potential benefits? What are the real risks?
Seek Support: Talk to friends, family, or a professional who can provide perspective and encouragement. Sometimes, an outside perspective can make the unknown feel less intimidating.
Take Small Steps: If a big change feels too overwhelming, start with small, manageable steps. Gradual change can feel less daunting and pave the way to significant improvements.
Choosing a familiar hell over an unfamiliar heaven is a deep-seated psychological tendency, but it’s not insurmountable. With awareness, thoughtful assessment, support, and gradual steps towards change, we can overcome our fear of the unknown and embrace the possibility of a better future.
While the familiar might feel safe, it can keep us stuck in situations that don’t fulfill us or allow us to grow. By challenging ourselves to face the unfamiliar, we open the door to new possibilities and perhaps, an undiscovered heaven.